Monday, February 15, 2010

A funny thing happened on the way to the high school

Two things happened last week:

1. I got mistaken for a German tourist.
2. A student asked me out--DURING CLASS.

First the First: So I leave the library one day, hungry as usual, and discover a little sammy place where I stop in to try a hot panini. I'm the only customer, so of course the sammy-man wants to have a little chat. As is wont to happen when I open my mouth to speak French with a solid foreign-type accent, he's all, "So where in Germany are you from?" Keep in mind the French words for German and American are sort of similar, or, well, ok not really, but at least they both start with "A": Allemagne and Amérique. So I had opened my mouth to say New York but then realized he was saying Allemagne and quite embarrassingly choked on my own breath as I tried to take back my answer and blurt out a "QUOI? COMMENT?" instead.

But woohoo! for me speaking and looking German-y, haha!

Second the Second: Later that same week I'm in class, trying to have and getting nowhere with yet another discussion about immigration. So I decide it's a good idea if I do the goofy dance and play a game of hangman with the students instead. Then, a few minutes before the bell rings I politely ask if anyone has any questions for me, because, duh, I'm here to teach them good things about our fabulous English language and life in America. The class clown pipes up and is all, "I would like to know if you will go to a movie with me!" The other boys in the class, who until this point had been slouching and acting a bit bored, sat up like a fire had been lit under their desks and started laughing and staring at me to see how harsh the rejection would be. But ooooh they don't know Americans very well, now, do they! They got another good laugh when I said, "Well, I only like science fiction, can you keep up with that?" And the poor boy just giggled and didn't have any good comebacks to that one.

And then, in the very next class that exact same day, in response to my "Do you have any questions for me?" the students asked if I had a boyfriend. Sheesh. When I answered in the negative, the students were quite excited to tell me about one of their teachers, whose qualifications were the following: aged about 50, divorced with one kid, but he looks like George Clooney and is "a hot rabbit."

QUOI-COMMENT? What the hell is a hot rabbit in ANY LANGUAGE.

Whatevs, the most important thing about the week was that we decided to have a Fiesta night, with tortillas and tequila! Woohoo!
PTPO, Fiesta Queen

We again mélange-ed some international partyers (partiers? damn, I know both are correct but NEITHER of them look like real words. And NO I'm not drunk! Yet.) with a dinner table full of Americans, Frenchies, a Brit, and even a "Greek that looks like a Mexican" (lol! Saint Denis your English is coming along nicely heh heh).

How do you finish up a week like that? Perhaps a trip to Aix-en-Provence, you say?
To be continued...

kK

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Whodunnit, or My South Park Reality Part Deux

Who doesn't love a good murder mystery!

Today I played the Murder Mystery Game with my class of Horrid Boys Thursday Group. HILARIOUS.

Each student got a character card. I gave them some background info: Ms McGowan, an grumpy old English teacher (got a few laughs on that one) was killed during a school reunion. I gave Horrid Boy No. 1 the role of the murderer; I figured he'd be pleased. He was.

And I myself was pleased with everyone's involvement! They really got into playing their roles, spinning off the cues on their character cards and making up funny details on their given alibis. The Murderer claimed he was in his office at the time of the crime, but when another suspect refuted that by testifying that there was no answer in The Murderer's office upon knocking, The Murderer cleverly put forth that he had his headphones on and was listening to loud music while engrossed in updating his status on Facebook.

But you know what's not pleasing is a lack of creativity. Dude, for several other classes I tried to follow a really good exercise that my mom uses with art to keep her students actively participating by asking questions about a painting. I chose Guernica because these French students have to practice speaking about controversial subjects in order to prepare for their big graduation exam. And hey, I thought a big disjointed painting depicting the destruction and lifelessness of war might do the trick. I wrote up some discussion questions, like "Who is the artist?" "What title would you give this painting?" "What is the message?" "Why is this painting in black and white, not color?" "Are there any works of art that depict war as glorious and good?" "Would you buy this, why or why not?" "In which room would you hang this painting?" etc. etc. etc.

Every student knows it's Picasso, but they don't know the title or background information of the painting, which is cool because I get to waste time giving a little history lesson. The titles they make up are so boring, like "War" or "Room with Fighting Animals" or whatever. And they always say they wouldn't buy the painting because it is too ugly. However, points to the student who said he'd hang it in his "toilettes" because "it's too ugly to look at very often."

Anyway, whatevs, to offset these annoying classes Pull The Prick Out provided an outlet in which to treat ourselves to decent pizza, a bottle of wine and...
What's that you say? Oh, it's blurry? Well maybe it's because I'm a BAD ASS and TOO ROCK STAR to photograph in ACTION.
But I will take pity on you plebes and do some slow-mo for ya:

That's right, thus beginneth the tale of My South Park Reality Part Deux as I succumb to the siren chords of Guitar Hero. 


PTPO had such a difficult time keeping up with me as I dealt a death blow to her Difficult Willie Nelson with my Easy Peasy "Walking in a Spiderweb." Whatever, she might be able to out-strum and out-shoot-flying-devil-bunnies me, but I WHOOPED her ass in hoolahoops, don't ever let her forget it! 

Shut up shut up shut UP you know you love it too! If someone handed you a magic guitar you'd be so glazed-over focused on the video screen you couldn't pry your eyes off with a superglued crowbar. 

GAAAAAH! I rejected all attempts at this plastic, mind-numbing crack for YEARS and made so much fun of people who play video games! But I mean, really, it was only the one time, and I didn't even inhale. (Yo, PTPO, call me. I'm supposed to save the world tomorrow and watch Lost with The Sultan, but I can probably rearrange if that's the only day you're free to have me over this week.)

kK