Showing posts with label shower or wine?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shower or wine?. Show all posts

Monday, August 16, 2010

My Chick Lit Reality: Doggie Day Care

So I'm sure we're all familiar with the typical chick lit storyline: Girl has breakdown; extremely rare coincidences occur to place her in a healing environment where she works as a cleaning lady or dog walker; hot male gardener shows up shirtless; emotional wounds are healed; and everyone lives happily ever after. The point of it all usually is that in order to find this new happiness, the girl must hit rock bottom-levels of despair and slough off the stress of being in the same old rut that is currently making her life a hell hole before she can pull a phoenix and rise from the ashes a healed, whole, new person.

 

Part of this rock bottom pilgrimage sometimes entails living and/or working in what Ageless calls "fringe society," the kinds of people who consider 9-5 office jobs the devil's work, right up there with genital warts and politicians. The kinds of people who work, say, in a Doggie Day Care facility.

Enter kK, fresh from her Parisian escape, back in the city where I had just spent three years at yet another 9-5 office job. Admittedly, the companies I worked for were MUCH better than the law firm in Chicago (where 9-5 really meant 9-9), but still, there is something about office life that, while comforting in a steady, you-know-what-to-expect kind of way, manages to suck out pieces of your soul through the florescent light bulb sockets and too-cold air conditioner vents.

As I prepared for another round of temporary office job interviews, I started feeling a vague queasyness in every atom of my body. After one interview, I ran outside and just stood in the middle of the crowded sidewalk, breathing deeply and soaking up the sun as I tried to dispel the panicky jitters that had overcome me in the elevator ride back down to the lobby.

I've read enough of those girly novels to understand the signs of the bourgeoning breakdown, but my next move was pure instinct that I would only later attribute to an unconscious drift toward my chick lit reality. I walked home instead of taking the subway, something that I might not normally have done since it was a good 30 block walk, but I needed fresh air and constant movement to keep me from what I was convinced was going to be spontaneous combustion.

A few blocks from my apartment I passed a "help wanted" sign in the window of a doggie day care boutique. I walked in on auto pilot, the copy of my resume pulled out before I even realized my hand was reaching into the envelope, an interview-smile pasted on my face as I walked up to the counter and greeted the manager. She raised her eyebrows at the obviously overqualified list of credentials, but somehow I managed to convey my desperation to be in NOT-office work, and then I picked up a little King Charles spaniel scratching at my legs and buried my face in her soft hair as she tried to lick all the invisible peanut butter off my face.

Apparently a love of dogs is high on the list of requirements for this no-brainer job, because she asked me to start the next Monday.

WHOOHOO!

It was two of the most fun months of my working life: I spent all day petting dogs and chatting about collars, harnesses, all-natural doggie treats and food. My fringe society consisted of dreadlocked, potsmoking groomers and a crazy manager who came in every day either drunk, hungover or amped up on what I'm pretty sure was something a little stronger than caffeine.


I knew it couldn't last forever, but while it did I reveled in the glorious fringy-ness of it. Also, I'd been sending out so many positive vibes into the universe for a position at Patagonia that I felt like I was floating on a cloud of surreality. Especially when Patagonia called to offer me the job! I have now moved to Phase Two of my new chick lit reality, working for one of my favorite companies with great people (and a store in Seattle...HMMM!).






I'm not sure how many phases there will be, and I'm still waiting on the hot, shirtless gardener to show up to heal my emotional wounds (LOL!), but for now I'm content to fold t-shirts and spend my free time riding my new bike (more on this later), drinking tequila with my Vortex dinner/book club (again, more on this later), and watching awesome crap tv like:


and


Stay tuned for upcoming installments of the New York Chronicles, including bike rides, adventures in catsitting, and the road trips to Austin and Chicago. In the meantime, skip the shower and have that other glass of wine.

kK

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Waiter, I'll take the apple strudel with mushrooms, please

kK's Random Thoughts: Things I Meant To Write About At The Time And Never Did ... Until Now

On a fine (also read: FUCKING COLD) Paris night quite a while back, Squash, Buckeye and AAAH (not only an acronym for African American Art History, but also an attestation of 'aaahhhh she's so hot') and I mange-ed at a lovely salon de thé, where the veggie soup was warm, the vanilla tea was pure soul balm, and we very nearly missed the English-menu offering of an apple strudel. With mushrooms.

Oh yes, you heard me right: Apple strudel with mushrooms. And it was not a joke! I teased the waiter that it was a prank they played on Americans, since this dessert entry was missing from the French version of the menu. He assured us that it was no laughing matter (even though he could barely get a word in edgewise between my maniacal cackles) and brought us a slice on the house.

Delicious? Well, I guess it was interesting. Born Again Mikey decided it wasn't quite an *EPIC FAIL*, just kinda *WTF...woulda been better with raisins*... and moved on to more palatable mouthfuls of sugary espresso.

A few weeks later, just as a random side note, I rode my first Velib', and realized that there was a good reason I hadn't been on a bike since my last one burned up in an explosion (long story) about 8 years ago.

I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my biiiiiiiike

Miraculously, my bike riding skillz held up even through the Parisian roundabouts. Thank the goddess there's no action photos of my white knuckles and bug-covered teeth.

That night Madame made tea and we sat down for my first viewing of Bridges of Madison County. Clint Eastwood doesn't sound quite the same as a breathy, trying-to-make-my-voice-low-and-manly-like-the-real-Clint-Eastwood Frenchy, but hey, I understood an entire movie en français! woohoo!

And then, in the wee sma's* of another surreal Parisian day, I returned to my formerly-known-as-nutella-glass full of cognac and ruminated on the foregone conclusion that tonight the wine wins out over the shower. Again.

kK

*Before you scream out PANDA SAYS NO, think on this: It should read "wee small hours" and thus the apostrophe replaces the "ll hour." Plus it just looks better with an apostrophe, and you might not even know what the hell I'm talking about if I just said "wee smas."  Gotta keep it real for my plebes.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Tutor (also read, in best jim carey voice: leh-hooo-zeh-hehr!)

Since the teaching gig is only 12 hours a week, I gots to earn me some extra cash, and luckily I've gotten a few tutoring requests: The Spanish Family--daughter is about 9, son is about 6 (holy crap that little dude is just too friggin adorable!!!) and they're so well-behaved, both of them! They just smile a lot and very studiously show me their lessons they need help with, and they try really, really hard to follow my corrections in pronunciation. I'm like, you're too young to be so well-organized! Stop speaking three languages and making my lazy American, one-and-a-half-language self all embarrassed, like!

Then there's the 4 year old French girl, also super adorable, but it's pretty much just an hour of 'babysitting'...I point to letters of the alphabet and go over them slowly and clearly in English, she ignores me and draws incomprehensible objects on little pieces of paper with various crayons. Then she tries to get ME to say the alphabet in FRENCH. I just keep repeating things like "YELLOW" until she finally looks at me funny and goes "wewwo" and I'm like PERFECT--NOW DO IT AGAIN YOU LITTLE HO.

Saint-Denis is, thank god, quite a bit older...final year in university (or master's degree, or something...I still can't figure out how this school system works, even when people try to speak slowly and explain it like I'm leotarded), and he's just landed a two-month stint at some job where he needs to speak a lot of English, so he just wants to practice by having a conversation over un cafe (omg he orders DECAF esspresso...I just looked at him and was like, dude, are you even French?) en anglais. He gets so frustrated when he makes little mistakes (saying 'persons' instead of 'people') but really, he does just fine...he's a sweet, serious little perfectionist...his new boss is going to love him (especially seeing as how said boss doesn't even speak English!). So what if he can't understand a word Chandler says in an un-dubbed episode of "Friends"; I'm sure he can hold his own when it comes to discussing agricultural practices of the EU. It's actually fun to talk to him, and by now we're more friends than tutor/client, so I just told him to buy me a beer next time and we'll do both English AND French so I can practice too. Seriously, I gotta start speaking more French...listening to music and TV (omg sometimes I even leave the TV on all night just in case it helps train my brain to dream in French or something. I know, I'm crazy.) only does so much...

**kK Tangent 806**
...but wait! I just remembered something TOTALLY awesome! I was in the internet store finalizing my order on Friday, and there was a Brazilian girl being helped by the same lady who was on hold with the phone company for me...anyway, long story short, there was a language barrier and the internet lady looked over at me and was like, um, will you help me? So I got to translate for two complete strangers, telling the Brazilian lady what the internet lady needed from her to get her new blackberry working! It was pretty basic, granted, but still...I was like *puffpuffpuff* ego-getting-bigger. And then, of course, I went to a cafe and ordered une carafe d'eau, and the waiter was like, QUOI?? COMMENT?? oh, UNE CARAFE D'EAU? (yes, goddammit! that's what I just friggin said!) and then: "why yes, I will bring you water right away." in english. le sigh.
**possible end to kK Tangent 806**

Well, it's either time for a shower or another glass of wine...let's make a wild guess as to which one wins out tonight.

kK